By STEVEN HOWARD
THE only person to come out of the Great Warsaw Flood with any credit was the stadium DJ.
For the bit of mischief when he played U2’s Beautiful Day as the rain lashed down and strong men headed for the boats.
The DJ aside, the rest of the Polish FA proved themselves to be a right shower last night.
The numbskulls at FIFA were not far behind them — not that that comes as any great surprise.
If either of these two organisations had showed one iota of common sense last night you would have been reading a match report of the Poland-England World Cup qualifier in this space rather than a discourse on the state of the weather.
But common sense is not a quality that abounds in football.
And certainly not among the governing echelon — just look at the identity of the old windbag who runs FIFA.
Had there been anyone around in any official capacity with half a brain in Warsaw last night the match would have gone ahead.
The stadium roof would have been closed long before any damage had been caused either to the pitch or the reputations of either of the two bodies responsible.
But it wasn’t.
Why not?
Because the Polish FA and FIFA are idiots!!!
What’s the point of investing so much time, energy and hard cash into a retractable roof, made of fibreglass, covered with Teflon, capable of holding up to 18cm of wet snow and supported by 1,200 tons of steel cable if you don’t use it? Obviously, none.
An absurd situation was made even more laughable when a Polish FA spokesman said: “We knew there would be heavy rain but we could not 100 per cent predict the downpour.”
Yes, that’s right. They KNEW there would be heavy rain.
In fact, everyone in Warsaw KNEW there would be heavy rain… from about 2.30pm.
That’s when I first noticed it as I peered out of my hotel bedroom window.
It then got progressively worse for the next SIX hours.
And no one connected with the game did anything — when all they had to do was call an engineer belonging to the right union to press a switch.
With a clunk and a whoosh the roof-retraction service would have swung into action and the whole process completed in just 20 minutes.
Instead, they stood and stared. And waited. And waited. Until it was too late.
Until the poor sod doubling as Polish FA spokesman then brought the house down by announcing: “At the moment it’s not possible to close the roof… because of the heavy rain and wind.”
Outstanding. Absolutely bloody brilliant. You couldn’t make it up.
FIFA, of course, added to the whole Monty Pythonesque scenario when they said that since England had trained with the roof open the previous night, they had to play with it open.
What sort of archaic nonsense is that?
It was then suggested that the English FA agreed with the Polish FA that the roof shouldn’t be closed.
If that is the case, which I somehow doubt, then the English FA are as daft as their halfwit Polish cousins.
The bottom line is that we all have to reassemble here this afternoon at 5pm local time. Flights and hotel rooms will have to be rebooked at huge cost with, as usual, the poor, sodden, downtrodden England fan having to foot the bill.
There were 2,500 of them out here and, right to the end, they continued to be kicked in the nuts.
The news that the match was definitely off finally came at just after 10 o’clock — with the England players already on the team bus and just about to skedaddle back to the warmth and comfort of the Hilton hotel.
The stadium announcer then stuck the boot in by saying: “All England fans are requested to stay where they are for another 15 minutes… ”
The stadium was practically empty anyway.
So not a great night for the Polish FA — and an appalling advertisement for a stadium that cost £500million.
It wasn’t just the daft decision not to open the roof, either. It was a night of one cock-up after another.
The lifts in the media centre weren’t working, there was no electricity in the Press box and it was almost impossible to get a mobile signal.
And there was a six-hour bomb scare with closed roads in the city centre the day before.
What a contrast to the European Championships when everything went off without a hitch.
Well, apart from the opening fixture — Poland v Greece — when they closed the roof… because it was too HOT!
No, don’t ask me, I haven’t a clue. They obviously have a different thought process out here.
The result was stifling humidity and a stadium like a sweatbox.
And a promise from the Polish authorities that nothing like it would ever happen again.
Until last night.
What an unmitigated disaster. Then again, when it comes to football, the people in charge just can’t help themselves.
