Talking to himself after being substituted during last night’s defeat to Germany the Dutch super star could be overheard saying “Why always me?” “Why always me?” “Wait a minute I can’t say that, that’s what Balotelli says” “I will have to think of something different to say at the press conference, that’s even if I want to speak to anyone “.
The Daily Numpty caught up with Robben after the match, and managed to ask the Dutch Winger a few questions.
“Well Mr Robben you know we are all such huge fans of you here at the Daily Numpty, and before any questions would just like to say the Netherlands National team is so lucky to have a player of your ability who puts in 300% to every match, unlike some of the other lazy players who expect you to do all the work.”
“Our first question is how do you feel about being substituted for Dirk Kuyt?”
“As anyone will tell you our manager does not have a clue as to what he is doing we were down by a goal and it is obvious to anyone who was watching the game that I was getting better as the game wore on, I mean taking me off for Kuyt common!!!” “Even a club as bad as Liverpool don’t want him anymore sending him off to play in the döner kebab league.”
“Do you think you still have a chance to get into the knockout stage?”
“Yes of course I do Germany should piss all over Denmark, and we can beat Portugal it will all depend on how much time I have the ball for obviously the more I have the ball the more chance of winning the game we have.”
“Talking about your teammates, has van Persie said anything about his plans?”
“To be honest I am sick of him, he is one of these people where it is all about me all the time.” He asks stupid questions like do you think I should stay at Arsenal?” “Do you think I would like it at Barcelona?” “I just tell him do what I would do, and play for the team that will pay you the most money.”
“How does van der Vaart feel about being on the bench?”
“He is another big baby always complaining about our stupid coach Van Marwijk’s daughter crying” “please daddy!!! Please daddy!!! Let Mark play.”
“Plus I wish I had a dollar for every time he asked me if I thought his wife was hot.”
“Last question Mr. Robben German legend Franz Beckenbauer has had a few things to say about you this past season is there anything you would like to say to him.”
“The old man should be quiet, he is embarrassing himself when he tries to criticise a super athlete like myself.”
“Oh and one last think we would like to say you were very brave for carrying on playing after suffering that head wound.”
“Yes thank you!” “It hurt a little but as you know I can rise above the pain.”
“Could you imagine if it had happened to Drogba he would still be rolling around on the pitch now, and then we would have the spectacle of having him turn up for the next match wearing one of those ridiculous German parachutist helmets like Petr Cech wears.”
The Daily Numty also managed to catch up with 66-year-old legend and tell him what Robben had said. This was his reply to us: “Robben is a selfish player just like many others,” Beckenbauer said
“His reaction alone after a good action or a goal; he does not thank the person who gave the assist, but runs toward the stands to look for his family. That way the team has to run after him again.
“There will come a moment where his team-mates will think: ‘If I give you the ball and don’t get the recognition for it, come and get the ball yourself next time.’
“He should think more about the team that he currently does,” the 1974 World Cup winner concluded.